Ivor Biggun - Official Fan Site

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10th July 08 - Peter:

I have many fond memories of enjoyable evenings at the Swan watching Ivors Jivers. I lived nearby with my girlfriend (now my wife) so we would go with friends or sometimes I would just go on my own. I always thought the band were musically of a very high standard and not simply a novelty band. I wish they had recorded more of their 'proper' music.

I remember buying their newly released Partners in Grime LP at one of their gigs and getting as many band members as possible to sign the cover. I also remember one of the bar staff who, dressed as a cowboy, used to empty full ashtrays down the inside of his shirt. For some reason his behaviour seemed perfectly normal at an Ivors Jivers gig.

Another memory I have is seeing Tony 'Blues Boy' Barker shopping in Tooting on a Saturday morning in a crowded luggage shop. I shouted out something like "Look it's Tony 'Blues Boy' Barker". I think it was the first time in his life he had received some form of public recognition and he slunk away without acknowledging an adoring fan.

When I was but a wee lad, the Local Education Authority decided the best way to deal with my, err, special behaviour (i.e. knowing more than the teachers) was to send me to a country school via taxi every morning.

There where five of us lads in that taxi, and come Christmas, we had got know the regular driver fairly well when he decided to treat us to some songs on the radio.

The tape he played was none other than Ivor Biggun's "I'm a wanker". Of course much chortling and singing of said song for the rest of the journey (and the school day). Of course we never let on where we all heard it, and he continued to play Mr Biggun for the rest of the year, at christmas he even gave us some tapes.

Ever since then I have loved the good clean (dirty) songs of Mr Ivor "Doc Cox" Biggun.

Unfortunately my tape broke, so I now have to upgrade to the digital age, and will be purchasing mucho cd goodness (and will be adding the website to my favourites list)!

Hi there, on your web page paying homage to Ivor Biggun you asked when people had first heard of him, well for me it was on "That's Life" when he would do his amusing anecdotes, but the songs he is famous for I am ashamed to say that until the other week I hadn't heard them, however this has now been rectified after recently buying "handling swollen goods" CD, "the fruity bits of Ivor Biggun" CD & "more fruity bits - the best of Ivor Biggun" CD, all of which I found on www.play.com; and I haven't stopped laughing yet!!

Well done for the wonderful site. I've been a regular visitor since I first found it sometime in 2003. I was 15 when the W*nkers song came out and I've been stricken ever since (with both the songs and the activity).

Anyway, I saw the man performing about 3 years ago at a charity bash in Farnham. It was great to actually meet him in the flesh and we had a couple of really nice chats. He even signed my 25ish year old vinyl LP of "More Filth, Dirt Cheap" of which I can still recite all the lines of most of the songs even now. He played two fantastic songs I'd never heard before. "Mulligan's Tyres" was the first and another one about piles, but not "My brother's got..." They were great. I was recently reminded of the event and was trying to describe it to a mate, but it was one of those "you had to be there" situations.

I'm a journalist originally from Geordieland (Newcastle) and now I edit for a newspaper in Hong Kong. Tonight I was subbing a story about Christopher Colombus, a scientific study claiming that he brought syphilis to Europe. The author of the story is called Hood, and that gave me a giggle, because I remembered the Winker's Song (always pulling my hood).

I was a crime reporter in Newcastle when I first heard that song. What a hoot! I was at the official opening of a new pub and the lord mayor and his pompous followers were in attendance. The Winker's Song came blaring out on the jukebox just after the opening speeches, and the manager unplugged the jukebox because the guests were so embarrassed. What a bloody great laugh!

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Dec 07 - Stanton (Toronto):

It was around 1983, I found it in a lucky bag. This was a collection of 5 no-longer-charting-or in-demand singles you could get for 50p (my pocket money) at a shop in Stirling, Scotland that sold records amongst a lot of other stuff. It may have been called McAree Brothers, but now it is just a haberdashery. Sometimes you'd get rubbish, but every now and again you'd get a little gem. Of which yours would probably be the best one I got.

It was a four track single with the pencil drawn monster cover (if I remember it correctly). I learned the Winkers (misprint) song by heart and remember enjoying it a good couple of years before I really know what it was all about. It became a bus song for rugby games at school.

In the eighties I was part of the band Channel 4 which backed Ivor and his alter ego Doc Cox on a great night at Rumours club in Blackpool in aid of the Friends of the Grand Theatre and I was the bass player in the group. A great night was had by all and I purchased a copy of the cassette for posterity as my only claim to fame. Unfortunately some light fingered Person shall we call them relieved me of it and I wondered if you could point me in the right direction to get a copy.

[If anyone can help Barrie obtain a copy of the Rumours club tape, please let me know - Ed]

The other members that night were:- Jim Boyle on guitar and vocals, Mick Thomas on drums and humour, Dave Nichols on keyboard and vocals, Barrie Tait (myself) on bass and backing.

The night consisted of 2 sets one as Doc Cox and the second as Ivor Biggun. The first was general music and rock etc with the usual anecdotes and humour from The Doc. The second set was as you might imagine full of filth with the audience taking a full part in the evenings entertainment in more ways than one if you understand! The songs were well known at Rumours and myself I had the original Ivor LP luckily as the other members had no idea of who we were backing. This must say something as to my upbringing LOL. We had about one and half hours rehersal in the afternoon and then straight into it that evening so you can imagine the evening being a comedy act in itself, but all went smoothly and we raised money for a good cause.

You asked to hear about the "First Time" I heard Ivor and his bands. Well I saw the Jivers and the Dirty Band many times and cannot specifically recall the first time, but it would have been around '88 or '89.

Perhaps my favourite moment was (I think) at the Swan in Fulham, where the Dirty Band signed off with "White Cliffs of Dover." It was an arrangement I'll never forget, sung with some venom:

"There'll be f*cking bluebirds right f*cking over
the f*cking white cliffs of f*cking Dover,
tomorrow just you f*cking wait and see"

They were great nights. Ivor was always good value for money and would usually play "Running Bear" for us if we kept shouting long enough.

First came across the warblings of the great man whilst working in my summer holidays from school in the east coast paradise which is Skegness!! Somehow it seems so appropriate considering songs like 'the Charabanc trip'. Wandering around in my lunch hour I came across this guy who used to pastel sketch kids for a quid a go I think, on Lumley road. Looking back that seems a somewhat dodgy thing to do whilst playing material like that but I guess as others have said those were more innocent times. He had a battered old cassette machine, utterly caked with shit and chalk dust, and the only cassette he seemed to own was the origional 'Wankers song' album which must have not long come out. Must have been around 79 or 80. He played it endlessly, flipping it over and over as soon as the side finished.

I was completely enthralled ! The sound was awful quality so I couldn't make out all the lyrics and to be honest I was too embarrased to ask him to turn up the volume!! However I spent the rest of my lunch breaks that summer painfully piecing together the lyrics of that great album, pretending to be interested in pastel sketching!! Some of the songs on there were quite obscure I seem to remember and I recall trying to work out how the seemingly inoccuous songs could be smutty! Mr Felatio had me wracking my brains for ages!.... ooh innocence :-))

Well more years than I care to mention later I'm still a big fan - got most of the albums and still bore my wife crazy singing the songs. I've tried to explain that the guy is a relatively undiscovered genius poet... I think she might be getting it now ;-) . I'm only half joking about that too. So if anyone out there knows who the mystery artist on Lumely road in 79 or 80 was, tell him thanks for introducing me to the genius!

I was at his world premiere supporting the Lurkers and Stiff Little Fingers at the Lyceum (1978?) [and Johnny Moped ? - Ed]. It was at the height of the punks vs skinheads thing and as the Lurkers had both a punk and skin following it was all starting to kick off in the audience - a big empty space appeared in the middle of the dance floor with two groups of idiots facing off... Then Ivor walked on with the phallic nose and a bunch of guys dressed as yokels - they all just stopped and stared with their lower jaws on the floor - it was a truely seminal moment in rock history - it just goes to show how smut can be a force for world peace.

Later one of the guitarists jumped up on his monitor to play a solo and try and look cool, lost his footing and twisted his ankle really badly. All the music stopped and a couple of minutes later an announcement came over the p.a "Is there a doctor in the house?"... again all the punks and skins just looked at each other blankly shrugging their shoulders.

This brings back memories of when I was about 12 years old sniggering to "I'm a winker", "My brothers magazine" and "Southern Breeze". I used to listen to my brother's cassette through some headphones... I came from a religious background so I guess this was very rebellious of me, and I'm sure my parents would have not approved one bit!! I sang a bit of "Pierre Foofe" to my son who thought it hilarious.

I think I first heard The Cockerel song on Swedish radio in 1983-84.85 somewhere.. I felt in love directly this was my kind of music.. loving lavatory humour.. the only thing to listen to before Ivor was, Abba with the song Water-loo, I often put other word to the lyrics in that song hehe.. Then another Swedish group played diggi-loo diggilej and was another favourite. But Ivor really turned things upside down, this was the grandmaster of lavatory music, the godfather, the only one !

I bought my first Ivor Biggun LP in London, my wife was with me and we went to I think it was HMV in Piccadilly circus. Stupid as I am I went to a clerk in a nice suite at the desk and highly in a mix by Swedish language and English language asked for music from an artist I heard on the Swedish radio by the name of Ivor Beggin. The clerk turned to purple and hysched me.. took me by the hand and lead me to a desk far away from the classical music, pulled out a little box from beneath the desk and showed me Ivor's first album, he was nervous and looked over his shoulder all the time so no one should see us. Then he slipped the record into a plastic bag and asked me to please do not pull the record up from the bag before you have left the store.

Had some wonderfully times listening to this piece of art back in Sweden.. this was a trully aha experience for me and my pals ! Sorry for my a bit Swenglish writing.. haha.. sometimes I am a sort of.. Anal-phabet..

My brother first acquired the Ivor Biggun album in the 70's in the States and for all these years I've remembered the songs and have told people about them even though my brother got rid of his album in the mid 80's. We didn't come upon it by the buzz you all might have had in Britain ... my brother saw the album (Winker's album) on a discount rack and thought that the cover was hysterical and bought it. My father and two brothers and myself already being huge fans of British humor lapped this collection of songs up! I haven't even heard the album since 1985, but I remember most of the lyrics of every song and I'm thrilled to know that there is a Biggun cult out there and that I can introduce my wife and eventually my stepson (he's only 10) to the wonders of Wanker wisdom.

My first memories of our hero do, I suppose, predate many of those I have read on this site. The era is the early 1960's; the scene is the biology lab at a traditional grammar school in North Notts where Coxy was waving his pointed instrument over a long-dead male rat (with testes to die for!). The Biology Master was a kindly but somewhat ineffectual individual who tolerated our laid-back approach to our studies and also, even more surprisingly, Coxy's attempts to produce a true-breeding three colour mouse!

At the time Coxy played rhythm guitar in a local group called Nurk Wildebeeste and The Mutations (guess who was Nurk). The line-up was Coxy, Borneo (base), Moley (lead guitar) and Haigh (drums) with Kaysha as manager. When Coxy had success thrust upon him, I replaced him on my organ (sorry, keyboard). The group went from strength-to-strength and eventually we earned as much as TEN POUNDS a night. I left Nurk and Co. when I went to college in 1968 but still reflect back to those happy days. This has been a wonderful trip down memory lane.

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Nov 06 - Ian:

The first time I heard the w*nkers song was at York university in Langwith bar in 1978. I was with my two (then) new friends Richard and Nigel. Nigel died in December 2004 in Sydney. His mum let us have some of Nigel's ashes and Rich and I fired these over the York campus in a rocket in April 2005. As he went (eventually, we had a bit of a problem with the firing mechanism) the w*nkers song belted out of a ghetto blaster. A fitting tribute to one of the biggest w*nkers you could ever hope to meet.

I used to see [Ivor's Jivers] at the Swan in Fulham Broadway ... what a fooking good night out. Tony Blues Boy Barker always found me holding on to the lampost at Fulham Townhall and give me a lift in his hotted-up Morris Minor on his way to Mitcham I think and kick me out in Wandsworth. Cheers Tony - hope ur still gigging.

I first heard this in approx 1979 in my mother's pub. The dj would turn down the sound at the I'm a wanker bit, and everyone would hum. All went well until she realised what the words were and went spare.

Just received a copy of Handling Swollen goods from Amazon today! I remember the early Ivor stuff from school days back in the very early 80s and it's still as amusing as ever, just thought to let you know!

I first heard the winkers song when I was about 13, 24 yrs ago I learnt the lyrics off by heart. Since then everytime I'm drunk at any family party out comes one of my kids (yes the kids had to hear it as well. In fact my eldest daughter recorded it on her video phone and shows all her mates) old small plastic guitars and I belt out I'm a winker til my voice is gone.

Back in 1981 my mate and myself found his album and that was it we memorized every song off by heart. And everywhere we went, partys, pubs, in the car, we would sing the songs from I'm a Wanker to I Farted and I still know the words to My Brothers Got Piles and I Farted. Lost the album but would love to get it again.

My first Ivor Biggun memory would have to be when I was quite younger, nearly 15 yrs ago, I think, and it was the Cockerel song, and I heard it whilst babysitting at my sisters house, and her ex-husband adored all that kind of humour, he loves Ivor Biggun, so I sat there and listened to the whole album on tape. The album was unknown at that time, but I loved the winker song, my shirt collar, I've farted, and although I only heard the tape a few times, I had listened to it so much when I did get the chance, I memorised all the words to the songs I liked, and even now, I take the songs I have to work with me, and most of the people I work with are from that era, and they all join in the songs. We even aim the winker song at people we don't like, so it does create a funny enviroment to be in, especially when were singin them out loud, very funny.

It would have been 1978 and I was serving in the Royal Navy on board the aircraft carrier HMS Ark Royal at the time. We had our own radio station on the ship: Radio 433 (that was the number you called if you wanted a request played). This is where I first heard 'The Winkers Song'. I seem to recall the DJ saying it was a promotional copy that had been sent, probably by the record company or maybe by Ivor himself. The song got a lot of airplay, as did the flip side 'Readers Wives'.

When the ship returned to port I immediately bought 'The Winkers Album', and 28 years later still listen to it. I also introduced Ivor's music to a mate Tim 'Hideous' Hale, he and his 2 sons Andy & Matt (hi lads) are all avid Biggun fans. Tim's missus has never forgiven me...

My old Ivor Biggun vinyl collection is looking a little tired these days, I really must update them to CD's. And the new album 'Handling Swollen Goods' - Must get a copy!

I was holiday when I first heard the wanker song. I was about 8. My mum was singing along and my nanna came into the caravan and started dancing then when she realised what the song was went ballistic. I was pissin my sides.

I must have heard Ivor's stuff prior to the Stonehenge festival in 1979, but really got to know it well at that splendid event. I'd gone along to the festival cunningly disguised as a grimy hippy and had inadvertently taken a quite astonishing quantity of good drugs. The people in the next tent had clearly done the same as they played the 'More Filth Dirt Cheap' album continuously for the entire week. I can still remember every word of it twenty five years on.

My first Ivor song was "Let's All Get Demented". I suppose that would have been December 1993. Wow, 12 years ago! As you know, that song is not exactly standard "Ivor". Imagine my surprise when I started tracking down his other recordings. Considering the first song I heard by him, it was not his risque subject matter that attracted me, but his sound - the general style, instrumentation, arrangement, vocal styling, etc. I wrote to him shortly after and received an autographed picture of Doc Cox. Not having any idea who Doc Cox was, nor knowing what Ivor looked like (I'm a U.S. resident), I had to check with Dr. Demento to make sure this was the same person. Since then, I've acquired several records from ebay, used record stores, etc. I've also researched whatever else I could find off and on. I tracked down the Black Adder episode he was in. Information has not been all that easy to find in the United States. Your website is pretty much my #1 source. I also get little tidbits here and there from Dr. Demento. I have his Fruity Bits CD, but I've not yet acquired the new one. I hope I get a chance to see him perform some day, and meet him. I only wish there were more recordings that were radio friendly and not quite so taboo (though don't get me wrong - his oeuvre is quite entertaining!) Well that's pretty much my Ivor experience so far.

P.S. Oh yeah, I've also seen the music video he put together for "Let's All Get Demented". Dr. Demento plays it at a lot of the shows he does live in person.

One Christmas Eve in 1979, whilst having just finished an early shift as a clerk at Rock Ferry Railway Station on the Wirral, my colleagues and I adjourned to the hostelry opposite.

Upon our inebriated return and armed with a cassette recorder we locked ourselves in the Chargemans Office where the PA system was situated. The passengers on the platforms, eagerly awaiting the announcements of when their trains were due to arrive/depart, were instead treated to several choruses of the pleasures of a different kind of announcement to whit; anal. "Ive farted" etc drew looks of bemusement from said passengers.

This continued until a furious chargeman hammered on the door threatening to call the local constabulary. My friends and I still recall the incident with much mirth. Hope this makes you laugh as much as it did us at the time.

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Dec 05 - Roy:

I first heard the winkers song as an impressionable 12 year old. (A mate had a tape of Ivor's offerings). I had great joy during a school holiday of singing the song verbatim at the top of my voice to my schoolmates late one night. Only to discover that all the teachers were outside our hotel room listening in to make sure we had settled down! I never did get the Ivor/Doc Cox link till years later. (That's life I guess ha ha)

I met Doc in summer 76 when I and my sadly deceased partner in crime Chris Jackson, had a small and seedy music shop in Hanwell, West London. One fine day a chap came into the shop and offered some films in exchange for a set of Guitar strings. I duly gave him a set of cheap strings and he bicycled off.

Over the next few months our relationship blossomed to the extent that he admitted he worked for the BBC, played the guitar/ukelele/banjo/one eyed flute and that he had written a filthy song and it was coming out on record. This was of course the "Winker" and most of you know the rest. Doc did some gigs with a bunch of musicians at around this time to promote the record and one of them was a fabulous guitarist called John Ward, AKA Johnny Greenstrat (he had a green strat). I had known John since school days and he was a genuinely super talented player but apparently he used to suffer from stage fright and did not play many gigs. He had a music shop in Ealing but suffered financial problems and very sadly took his own life some years later.

In late 1978 or maybe 79 Doc came in the shop and asked if I wanted to do a gig at the Three Pigeons with him and Tony Barker on Friday night. I was aware of Tony having shared a bill at a Tech College when I was in the Roger Williamson Band and knew he could play harp and slide. So I asked Doc what we were going to play and I still remember his answer. "The two first Rolling Stones albums" was the reply. "Who is on bass and drums?" "Ask Steve to play bass" Steve was my assistant in the shop and played rhythm guitar. He learnt enough bass on a Fender I leant him in two or three days and was our first great Bass Player. On drums we had a nice chap called Bob but his speciality was "Ham Rolls", we never knew when he was going to get out of one of the endless excursions on his tom toms and back into the beat. This initial line up was called the "Viletones" and we used cut up MU stickers to "Keep music Vile". Tiny amps and PA made the row bearable.

The punters seemed to like the casual blend of RR/RB/Blues/Country/Reggae which was completely unrehearsed and I can say hand on heart, that in my time in the band we never had a rehearsal. Songs were learnt on stage, chords shouted out and chaos reigned. The blend of Tony Barker's authentic rural blues styles, Doc's rhythm guitar, the glue holding it all together, my horrid noises on Telecaster, together with an unflappable section behind us was a powerful thing that sometimes took flight in ways that none of us could ever have imagined. Three lead singers too!

Bob was replaced by Ricky Stevens (later to play with Boy George and George Clinton) a tiny chap who played muscular reggae on a tiny see-through Sonor Kit (very striking), he lasted a while until Steve (Bass) and Ricky were stolen by Johnny G, also on Beggars Banquet. We replaced them with Eddy Masters (still the best bass player in the business) and Chris Perry. Various guests came and went but none of great note until after a short break the band ended up at the Swan in Fulham Broadway. Brendan the Landlord had transferred to Fulham and wanted us to play in this huge barn. This gig seemed rather daunting after the Pigs, as it was ten times bigger but with the insouciance that was natural to such a talented (stupid) bunch we took it on. At least it had a large if not very good house PA.

It did not take long and the place was packed every Friday, we had added a one handed keyboard player (he had two but one always held Guinness) called Martin (Vic) Donnelly. A man of few chords but good solos. A litany of guests and deps played in the Jivers over the next year or so. The list of drummers, bass players, saxophonists, guest vocalists, guitarists, etc, is endless but there are great memories here, Roger Dean showing everyone how country guitar should be played and being the nicest chap there is, Charlie Morgan on drums regaling us with tales of playing with a young Kate Bush, Foghat, a huge band in the USA at the time, getting booed off when they asked if they could play in the interval (I was auditioning for a job with them and this killed that stone dead). A girl taking off all her clothes on stage and nearly knocking over a couple of vintage Gibsons. Lots of stories, most not printable but I was always allowed at the end of the evening to let the appalling Terrific Teddy out of his box to perform "I'm jolly mad" and the punters all cheered, at least I think that's what they were doing. As an aside we still maintain that the B side of "Jeremy is Innocent" is the first example of the "C" word on a commercially released single.

In September 1981 I had decided to sell up and move to Alderney in the Channel Islands. After some discussion with Doc and Tony I recommended my chum Phil for the guitar seat and he was there for the duration as you all know.

I still have an unreleased version of the Jivers doing "So Lonely" jug band style, recorded in Monterey Studios, Hanwell. Ask nicely and I may let him have a master copy for release if Sting allows it.

I have very happy memories of my time in the Viletones and Jivers. I have played with Doc many times since I returned some eight years ago but somehow a proper original Viletones/Jivers reunion has not happened, as the logistics in getting at least 50 musos at the same place and time is rather overwhelming. If anybody is up to the task let us know...

my first song of him was i am a wanker. i loved him eva since. my favorite is my gr8 grandad jon. class song

I'm embarrassed to say that I've been an Ivor Biggun fan for getting on for 25 years. I first heard him when I worked as a volunteer at The North Yorkshire Moors Railway at Grosmont near Whitby and we used to have disco's where his records were played quite a lot. One day after a disco we were confronted by a couple of elderly ladies who said that though they were a good half a mile away from where the music (?) was being played, they could still hear every word, and thought it very amusing.

Apart from owning his first three albums on vinyl, plus a few singles including the Dr Clap EP and the filthy 12"er of The Majorca song, I also have a letter written with THE MAN's very own blistered palm to myself when I wrote to him via Esther on That's Life. He made a big play on my name for some unknown reason.

I got Handling Swollen Goods as soon as it came (excuse the pun) out (even worse) and I've been playing the CD in my car ever since. It's excellent, and I particularly like the live tracks. I'd love to hear more live stuff. I only found out recently that the Dr Clap and the Winkers Rock and Roll MP3's were live recordings the other day when I was talking to someone online about Ivor.

My first exposure, if you will, to Ivor Biggun was when I was stationed at RAF Upper Heyford in England in 1989. I was visiting London for the first time and the group I was with stopped off at the Virgin mega store. 'Partners in Grime' and 'More Filth Dirt Cheap' were in a reduced bin. I decided to give them a shot, based solely off of the song titles and loved them. Probably the best six quid I've ever spent. They were excellent and nearly everyone I shared them with got a kick out of them. Surprisingly, the song I liked best - before hearing 'Bras on 45', as I'm a huge fan of boswams - is probably the cleanest of the lot: 'I Wanna Be a Bear'.

While I was at RAF Upper Heyford I was living in the enlisted dorm. One of my friends in an upper room on the other side of the building was being driven nuts by a group of "cowboy wannabes" who would blare country music all hours of the night on the weekend. As soon as he heard 'Halfway Up Virginia' he insisted that I loan the tape to him. The next weekend he set his speakers out on the balcony and waited for them to start up. Then he turned on his stereo at full volume and blared "Halfway Up Virginia" repeatedly for close to an hour. They stopped for awhile after that.

After I'd moved off base I was watching something on one of the BBC channels - it was probably 'Prisoner - Cell Block H' - and afterward I remember seeing some show that Ivor was appearing on. I think he did 'Ukelele Man'. It was the first and only time I saw him perform.

I have been a big fan of Ivor's work for many a year and in fact wooed my current Mrs with "I Have A Dog - His Name Is Rover".

[About the Majorca Song] The memories are actually from Manos bar in Spain. It was the first big family holiday we had had since me and my wife got married. We took our 2 kids and Manos bar basically made the holiday for us. But this song was played everynight and I learned it word for word. It was a fantastic time and when we went back two years ago it had all changed so I needed the song for the memoirs.

I first got introduced in about 1986 when I was 10 years old by my 14 year old brother who had a tape with a few songs from The Winkers Album. Immediately impressed I played the tape over and over getting to know the lyrics and getting in trouble at school for reciting them in class. In 1988 a friend got a tape with songs from More Filth! & Partners and once again the trouble at school reared its wrinkly one-eye again!! Even asking the school bus driver to play my tape as he drove us to school one morning, luckily my judgement was proved good when he heard the chorus for the first time of John Thomas Allcock I thought he was going to crash the bus!! He laughed so much and for the following choruses sang along I swear he was still singing it when we all got off!

By 1995 I had More Filth! & Partners on CD, and managed to track down a vinyl copy of the Winkers Album, learning and getting much pleasure from all three. In 1997 on holiday with a friend in Ibiza I asked for the mic from the rep on a coach returning from a club and serenaded the travellers with The Winkers Song and I've Parted. The rep had never heard them before and laughed more than anyone. A few nights later he actually got me up to do the songs again for the new arrivals, and being drunk once again I was only happy to oblige!!

When the advent of the internet came into our homes my first mission, after looking at smut and getting cyber blisters, was to track down any Ivor songs I hadn't heard and download them, in doing this I came across the opportunity to purchase The Fruity Bits along with the signed poster and not forgetting the wankerchief. A week ago my 18 year old brother borrowed my ipod and came across Ivor, not literally, and now him and his mates are hooked. Although, (fortunately?), not young enough to have their fragile little minds corrupted as mine once was!

My husband and I (no, I'm not the Queen) had The W*nker's Album. We didn't realise that our children were listening to it until we overheard our youngest son (who was about 5 at the time) singing "I've Farted" word perfect from beginning to end. He is 23 now and still remembers all the lyrics to all the tracks!

I first heard the winkers song when I was about nine or ten. My older brother came home with it and played it full blast to the neighbour's horror. But the only problem was my Mum had just come back from work and whipped him good and hard with the washing stick lol. But fair play to him he still refused to hand over the record.

She said she never wanted to hear his voice in the house again! Funny how things turn out because she used to be a big fan of Doc's when he was in That's Life and she would never accept that he was the same person that she banned from the house!.

Only last week did I hear it again. My friend had won it on ebay. So I played to the delight of my friends when we were putting in the concrete floor of my extension (we were all in bits) and it brought back some fond memories of that time when my brother got whipped.

My mates and I used to be regulars on Friday nights at the Swan, first seeing them in 1984 which included a 2 song guest spot from Crazy Jerry 'he's going to be huge !'.

I remember seeing Ivor Biggun in the late 1970's when he made an appearance at the Cross Keys pub in Hammersmith on a Friday night to meet up with the resident gigger Johnny G. I also recollect seeing him play in the Three Pigeons in Ealing. I think it was with his band Ivors Jivers.

I first heard The Winkers Song at a disco in the local scout hut. I thought it was brilliant. In later years a friend gave me a tape which I have sadly lost. I remember a song on it which was about a schoolgirl with the words, "the way you suck your lollipop, shows your nobody's fool". That's all I can remember. I wish I still had that tape though. Like Phil Bagley, I'm now 46 and I also still sing The Winkers Song to myself from time to time. I'll never forget the words to it. Happy dayz.

Whilst browsing the wonderful world of the interweb I started following some links about ukeleles which brought me to the Ivor Biggun page. What wonderful memories this brought back of the late 1970-s when I lived in Hanwell, W.7 with my then boyfriend and great guitarist, Ted MacDouall, who also ran Monterey Studios where the famous 'Jeremy Jeremy Woof Woof Bang' was produced. Yes, you've guessed it, I am that Fanny Boovines! An anagram of my real name as you might guess. I can well remember squeezing into the fetid beer can strewn cell that was the studio control room to perform as backing singer. Happy days!

The Westleton White Horse gig went well: you wouldn't have thought that many people could have fitted into one small pub. Space for luxuries like breathing could only be enjoyed by regular visits to the loos. In fact I think the ladies might actually be bigger than the bar... The ladies loo, that is, not the actual ladies in the audience. Although, on second thoughts, maybe I was right the first time...

And another good laugh was had by all last night in the Poacher's Pocket, near Saxmundham, with Doc again supporting the "Antiques Roadshow". Glimpses of the old Ivor were there in such passing comments as Doc demanding to know what Tom Jones had that he didn't "apart from money, fame, sex appeal, and enormous genitalia".

He's got a few other odd gigs coming up, but the best chance of Ivor spotting is still on Thursday nights at the Eel's Foot, Eastbridge, at the "open mike" night (where there isn't a mike), when he and Jilly B. are fairly regular performers. Keen birdwatchers can stand in the nearby Minsmere bird sanctuary and listen to the cries of booming bitterns, and the sounds of strange things being done with a kazoo.

The Winker's Song - This is one song I will never forget when and where I heard it first. I was at my Cousin's wedding reception, when I was about 11 or 12. My brother was the DJ there on that night and there where a couple of friends of his telling him to put it on. My mother knew he had it and told him not to. Big mistake don't tell my brother not to do summit. Next minute loud and clear out of the loud speakers came the words "My mother said...". Brothers mates where killing themselves laughing, mother was not very happy...lol. Ps I am now 38 and still sing the song to myself when I am bored, sad or what.

My Ivor moment was exactly a week ago when travelling down a country lane. Poor road conditions caused our car to come off the road and turn over. There is nothing more surreal than listening to the cucumber song while suspended upside in a Nissan Micra. The tape was ok tho.

I was first exposed to Ivor when working at an engineering factory during our annual shutdown. As I worked in maintenance we used to have to do long hours of hard graft and after a few days it would start to drag. One of the lads put a tape in his player and cranked up the volume. It was Ivor and Wanking your blues away. It lifted everybody's spirits up and from then on we would play Ivor when things were getting us down. Great fan of his.

My wife and I were in the USAF, stationed at RAF Upper Heyford '78-'81 and living in the village of Worminghall along with Jim G, a recording engineer at the Beeb. (I remember him saying that he was in on some of the recordings on "The Winkers Album"... as an engineer if I remember rightly.)

Heard Ivor - "The Winkers Album" - at a party at Jim's house one Saturday night in fall '79. As with all parties in the village there was plenty of beer and I had my share but was sober enough to hear and understand the music. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to croak. Jim was kind enough to give us his copy of the album - Thanks, buddy!! We still miss you and all our friends from the village! - and we've been privileged to use it to "expose" Ivor to a lot of friends around the world since then.

Great site, by the way. We miss Jolly Ole like hell, and the many friends we made there. One day we'll get back. The site takes us back to some great times and we love it. The fact the the old w*nker himself is the subject makes it that much better!

Have been scrounging the web for copies of Ivor's works - recordings, that is - and they are virtually impossible to find on this side of the pond. (We colonials as a whole have never caught up with the mother country in regard to humor.) I'm on the verge of shelling out for an international money order and buying from a source in England.

If you should see or have any form of social intercourse with the old chicken choker let him know he has friends in the colonies, and that we raise a Newcastle Brown to him.

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Dec 2004 - Marion:

Doc was entertaining the old folks of Middleton (Suffolk) last Saturday, December 11th, for their Christmas tea as part of a group of local old boys temporarily renamed the "Antiques Roadshow". He was given the exciting job of pulling the raffle tickets out of a bin (NO! that's not a euphemism for something else!) and causing hysteria in the process. When one white-haired and fortunately deaf old gentleman staggered over to collect his prize, Doc described him as "The only grey in the village". He also called a red-faced (weatherbeaten) retired farmer and parish councillor "a raging alcoholic" and embarrassed him into choosing chocolates instead of the bottle of wine he was aiming for.

Surprisingly, the (reasonably clean) music went down very well & a good night was had by all the survivors. Ivor-spotters would do well to keep in touch with the White Horse pub, in Westleton. I think they're in imminent danger of getting a gig in the New Year. You have been warned!

My memory is being 'introduced' to Ivor's music at a far too impressionably age. Listening to his rude songs and irritating my friends by reciting them as often as I could. That was over 20 years ago. I wrote to the old dead badger and somewhere in my attic is his reply (something about him rubbing Vick all over his chest) and a signed 'photo, saying 'all the beast to Vicky'. I kept them because being as naive and impressionable as I was I was adamant he would one day become famous and bankable and I could then sell my letter and never have to work!!! Ha, ha, fat chance of that.

In my current capacity as a Probation Officer I would probably have him arrested if if he wrote a letter like that to a teenager, but hey ho, those were more innocent days for me. So well done Ivor for keeping it up for so long (!!) only you could do it. Best of luck, Vicky.

I first heard the Ivor Biggun song The W*nkers Song, in about 1977 at the tender age of six. My Dad was one of the infamous Red Nose Burglars (John) and he found it totally appropriate to raise myself and my brother [Oliver] on the songs of Ivor Biggun. Consequently, I have a very warped sense of humour and foul language.

I first heard it when it first came out all those years ago. Now I live in America and for some reason it's stuck in my mind and I sing it to my friends occasionally.

My friend's husband plays in a band and I want to get a hold of the words so I can try and persuade his band to play it!! A lot of people over here don't know what a w.nker is!!

I didn't expect to find a site about Ivor! The highlight of my life (so far!) was standing in a marquee with a couple of hundred bikers singing 'I'm a wanker' - only Ivor could make 'em do that. That was sometime ago now... saw them regular then and now I find they're still around and, it appears, in my area (Suffolk)! I'm off hunting...

I first heard the w*nkers song while home on leave from a celebate 6 weeks in Oman. When I thought about music to take back to Oman, I thought the that wankers song would go down well with the crew, so I made it part of one of my compilation tapes - which also included Chris De Burgh, Phil Collins and Meatloaf, I might add.

The wankers song was a Smash -- The Karaoke nights we had in the desert on the Oman/Saudi border would not have been the same without it.

Music is my first love. And you will be my Davy Crockett Hat.

I first heard it when I was about 9 or 10. I heard my older brother playing his album along with the new half man half biscuit album. Straight away I was collecting his songs on tapes and listening to them in my room and to this day I still know all the words to his songs. ;)

One of my everlasting memories of an Ivor Biggun song was a song based on using lots of Underground stations in the lyrics. However time and old age beffudle my memory and I can no longer remember all the words (or even most of them). My friends who had other copies of Ivor's albums can't remember and many moons ago my copy was trashed by an irate mother who thought the whole album was disgusting and perverted (not true at all). Now when life is much more relaxed it would be lovely to be able to get another copy (I've already had fruity bits for a couple of years and everyone has a great laugh at the lyrics - suggestive but only in your mind it's mostly very tame by todays standards).

I've just finished reading your entire website (and most of the links, too) but just had to email you before I go and lay down to recover with several paracetamols.

I've seen Ivor (under his most frequently assumed alias) perform live at many pubs in East Suffolk (UK) over the last few years/months/days. These pubs are usually well off the beaten track: some, like The Bell, Middleton, or the Eel's Foot (yes, that is its real name), Eastbridge, hardly have a nearby track to beat. An excellent night's entertainment is enjoyed by all, even the slightly bemused birdwatchers who thought they'd wandered into a quiet (HA!) country pub for a traditional folk night... Sales of tissues always rocket after a performance.*

The Rover song always goes down well in this dog-loving area: my favourite verse is "I've got a dog named Solzenitsin" (please excuse spelling, it's been a long day, preceded by a short night); he has a particularly imaginative rhyme for that one. Unfortunately, as I work in a 2nd hand bookshop in (rather posh) nearby Southwold, post-Ivor I get a bit hysterical now when customers ask for that author. And I can't possibly explain why...

Go lurk around the Suffolk coast on your next holiday and listen out for the strains of Ivor, as Ivor strains himself.

*No! It's because the audience end up crying with laughter!

Thank you for posting the canonical words to Bras on 45. There were bits of the song that I never could make out until I read your page. I am deeply grateful for that resource. [Thanks for your correction - Ed]

I thoroughly enjoyed your Ivor Biggun site - I knew very little about him before I found your pages and now I'm on the hunt to purchase his available CDs, like Fruity Bits. He's not only hysterically funny but he's a craftsman with his music.

Growing up in America, my only exposure to him was through the Dr. Demento show in the early 80's. When I first heard "Bras on 45," it immediately became my favorite song, both novelty or otherwise. It was only until I found your site that I learned about his extensive catalog and his other shenanigans. Thank you very much for the wonderful tribute to this great man.

Bloody great funny stuff. Very clever man. Heard it first in South Africa circa 1978. Bought 2 copies of the Winkers Album ( misprint). Both were stolen by GOOD ? mates. Now living in OZ ( downunda ) would love to buy the cd. Currently searching the net for the closest purchasable copy.

When I was about nine-years-old my disciplinarian-of-a-grandad caught me playing one of his tapes that I'd found in a drawer. I instantly loved the Wanker Song, even though I didn't fully understand it. He gave me a right ear bashing, and I still don't know whether it was because of the lyrics or my rifling through his drawer.

I used to love old Ivor when I was a kid and have performed a couple of his milder songs in a duo some 10 years ago. It is only really now that I have realised how bloody clever his writing is aside from the utter filth contained within. I have taught my 7 year old lad two tunes, I’ve Farted and Great Grandad John. I used to have a tape that contained copies of 2 of his albums but it got overplayed and has long since gone to dodgy cassette heaven. I have promised the boy faithfully that I will get copies of them for him but can’t bloody get hold of them anywhere, hopefully you can help with this!

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Dec 2003 - Heath (Kirkby In Ashfield):

Just to let you know I was 10 years old in the summer of 1978 and didn't have a clue what the title or lyrics actually meant but had heard the term thrown about a time or two. When my old man came home from work with the album and played it on the stereogram I pissed me sen and still do! I still remember the words to 'I've Farted' off by heart and now I've got kids they often ask me to recite the words. Only shame is we never did know what happened to our old 33 1/3.

You will be pleased to know that when the W*inkers Song came out (ooh!) I was responsible for getting it played at our local WHSmith. "Do you have the Winkers Song?". "Yes". "Could you play it please?". Of course with 45s there was a few seconds before the record started and it is a clean verse before, gloriously "I'm a wanker" echoed thru the shop - cue Mrs Overall trying to switch it off.

My first encounter with the wankmaster was in 1979. I'd gone round a mate's place to play guitar and get drunk and stuff and another of the lads came in, clutching a tape, with tears of laughter running down his cheeks. He promptly put the tape on for us to hear. By the end of the second verse I was creased up on the floor, helpless with laughter and in grave danger of pissing myself. I crawled to the bog and managed to relieve myself, shaking uncontrollably to the extent that my glasses fell off my face and landed in the crapper.

Needless to say, as musicians and perverts, the song was instantly added to our set list and has remained a personal favourite all these years. I've been evicted from folk clubs for playing it and even received multiple death threats at Cambridge Folk Festival for singing it. Admittedly, it was 5am and I was bawling my drunken head off with the sort of guitar accompaniment that can only be achieved after three gallons of Guinness. A wondrous gem of the songwriter's art, it's raised laughs and got me beers at more parties and pissups than I can recall. May the Master's todger never droop!

I listened to what I think must be an entire album by Ivor Biggun on Swedish radio one autumn night in 1981 played and enthusiastically introduced by a female DJ (I thought the surname was spelled Biggon, and this misconception has kept me from discovering anything about this artist until this very day). I remember most vividly the doom-laden, perennially philosophical, almost apocalyptic anthem about The Man With the Greatest Thumper in the World (he was named Olcott, I believe). It really explains what it's all about while in this enlightening and amazing perspective mankind's every vainglorious pursuit and futile aspiration throughout history comes to naught (compare Schopenhauer's "Die Welt als Wille und Vorstellung").

When I heard the original [W*nkers] song in 78 it was on a poor quality record player and I [mis]heard one line as Mrs _Farm_ and her five lovely daughters. Didn't have a clue what it meant...

Some years later I was perusing late night porn and I came across a channel listing common euphamisms for bashing the bishop and it listed Mrs _Palm_ and her five lovely daughters. I saw the light...

I remember listening to a copy (of a copy of a copy, etc...) that my brother had borrowed in 1986 off a mate. Like any self respecting 11 year old I learned all the words, and myself and brother have been known to sing the winkers song at weddings and other religious events. I always liked that mousey song.

I brought the Fruity Bits over to a Cartoon Festival in France and got all the Frenchies singing 'I'm a Wanker' around the supper tables! That was an Ivor Biggun moment to savour!

Just to let you know that my mate has taken the Fruity Bits album out to Majorca this year. He is also a musician/singer and will be using the Majorca song as his theme tune, so we all can't wait to go to spain to get out of our brains and act like wankers. You never know, Ivor could be back in the charts later in the year!

The Winkers Song - there was a rumour of this tune that was played at the visiting fair ground, next to the school, so we all gathered at the bumper cars and waited. We eventually asked if they would play it, but we had to wait half the night. Eventually it came on, we basically rolled around pissing ourselves laughing. It is still a favourite. A friend recently found the album at a car boot sale, so all the memories came flooding back again.
Thank you, Mr Biggun, you're a cult (misprint)

I have seen Ivor, many times at the Gun - Croydon. Mostly in the nineties. Have 3 or four of his albums. Very well composed as you often hear a record on the radio. Ha surely Ivor isn’t taking the Michael out of the artist. You hear a tune and you think - Ivor has corrupted that song. Hope to see Ivor again one day

I'm British living over here with my family and working in Qatar. I play guitar at a folk night here once a month and thought it would be fun to give the audience a laugh (during this gloomy time of war worries) by performing "I've Farted" by Ivor Biggun. I was searching to see if I could find the lyrics and guitar chords on the Net and stumbled onto your website, which is great by the way!

It's been a long time since I've thought about Ivor Biggun's songs. I actually bought a second hand copy of The Winkers Album from a skool pal some 20 years ago. I've still got it somewhere at home, it's just gathering dust now though since I don't have a record player. I was pleasantly surprised to see it's available on CD now.

I actually ordered Ivor's "Fruity Bits" last week from Amazon, I really hope to receive it before the war breaks out (looking doubtful now though). I imagine the postal service here will get dramatically affected once flights stop coming in.

Picture the scene, it is 1981 (ish) in a small village on the Lancashire side of the Pennines and a gang of 13 and 14 year old kids are hanging round on street corners or in the park well after the time that their parents might start to worry. Boys and girls, engaged in amateur teenage gropings and fumblings. A primitive cassette recorder, so heavy that a small fight ensues whilst debating who will carry it that night, is playing the songs of the moment. The Jam, Bowie and Madness disturb the local populace who are cosily ensconced by their firesides watching Esther Rancid, Squirrel stretcher and that lanky one with the perm, etc. To break a moment of boredom, my friend Gaz produces a tatty Sparkomatic C90 cassette from his pocket and utters the immortal words "Hey, put this on. I recorded it from some records my cousin lent me and it's piss funny. It's that bloke from That's Life. You know. The one with the specs." So in it goes, press play and after the obligatory 23 seconds of silence followed by fizz-crackle-crunch lead in, someone is just about to say "Put summat good on. This is shit" when "plink-a-plink plonk-a-plonk plink plonk plink. My mother said... that I never should... play with the...".

Well, Laugh?... I spilt Woodpecker all down my 'I shot JR' T-shirt and Desert boots and my life was never the same again. I borrowed the singles from Gaz, played the grooves off them and never gave them back and whenever I come across another one, I buy it. From what I can remember, somewhere in my collection of crap there is the Winker's song, the Winker's Rock and Roll, Bras on 45, More Filth Dirt Cheap and a poor recording of the Winkers Album.

By the way, I disagree with Ivor that Reader's Wives is crap. I think Ivor is easily the equal of other great romantic songwriting talents, for example, "Greasy candlewick Madonna, you mean all the world to me" could have easily been penned by Chris de Burgh, and both Chris and Ivor are w*nkers. QED.

I recall those far off distant years of my youth. Various "Ivors Jivers" and "Viletones" gigs in the London Area. I had the dubious pleasure of being one of their early drummers, with Ivor, Tony Barker, a guy named Ted, a couple of bass players Steve & Curly. Ivor's rendition of the old Everly Brothers hit "Ebony Eyes" brought tears to my eyes, even though I heard it week in and week out, a real tear jerker. Alas, Ivors own lyric's I took too seriously and eventually had to leave the band due to an injured wrist! All was not in vain however, every cloud has a silver lining. When my wrist healed I joined other bands who actually paid me. I wish Ivor, Tony and all old "Jivers" and "Vile Tones" all the best. Happy Days.

I also recall a wonderful Blues singer, Colin Tozer who warbled the occasional ditty with us. I now reside in the Republic of Ireland and still thrash the drums. One wonders, will this new Rock 'n' Roll craze last long?

After tossing off a set at the Warners bash - Hungerford [MC: Doc Cox] I was tired and emotional [sic. er... very sic]. Especially having driven the fabulous Turdis [even sicker - you can't polish a Turdis] - a retired but very roomy ex-nursing home minibus - complete with a full compliment of Bishops, halfway over the country.

So, imagine my pleasure when, after our own rather sweaty finale, we were revived and entertained by the Prince of Priapism himself. And what a show it was! I laughed my bollocks off [as well as hearing some really great blues], which could make the masturbatorium planning permission chez moi redundant.

I referred to this in conversation with an old mate from Ealing, Tony Wood [Joe Brown ex-guitar player], who has worked with Carlo Little and Doc and other notables as a producer, who sends his love. [The sperm donation is in the post.]

Great show Doc. Really great. Still making a fist of it.

I first heard Ivor when I was new at university, some 18 years, ago and some older and well meaning students thought I needed some real education and some cheering up (All those lonely blue songs, you might feel that you wrot'em...) Well, the remedy was of course entirely new to me ;-) , but it had such an impact that I soon went out and bought myself a ukulele! And ever since, whenever I get a bit too much to drink, I am only too happy to treat my friends with evergreens like "the winker's song", "the cockerel song" and "John Thomas Allcock" (it may be a good thing that out here in the Northern Scandinavian wilderness, people are not all that fluent in English...)

Anyway, in November I found your site and found out about the "The Fruity Bits of..." CD and instantly ordered two from Amazon UK and gave one to my brother for christmas. Before that I hadn't owned any Ivor records, just an old music cassette recording that got lost many many years ago. Luckily, the lyrics had stuck in my head!

You state that Ivor Biggun was banned by every radio station in the world. That's incorrect. CFNY 102.1 in Toronto was playing Ivor way back in the early 80's. The morning show called Pete 'n' Geets used to play all of his stuff. What was great about it was that we listen to CFNY through the PA. system at work all day, everyday. The company employed, at that time, approx. 80 people, mostly in their 20's and we were all great friends - you know going to the pub every night - lotsa fun. Well one morning a bunch of us were very hungover, but there we were 7am on the dot and still half drunk and giddy from the night before.

The radio station was very progressive at the time (actually the first "alternative" station in North America and perhaps the world) and we enjoyed some fantastic music - Bahaus, The Stranglers, XTC, Iggy and such. So, we tried to get our act together that morning, nursing our coffees and our heads when the "Winker" song comes on. Well we just roared! Unable to contain ourselves, we disturbed the plant manager and out he comes demanding what the hell was going on. We did our best to compose ourselves and got on to the tasks at hand. Later that day a very important looking bunch of people were getting a tour of the shop and what should come on the radio ... "Has anybody seen my cock?". Joe, the plant manager, was doing his best to act professional and serious while conducting this tour but the PA. was turned up a bit (it was Friday) and everyone could hear the song clearly. It was priceless - Ivor shouting "Watch out he don't spit in your eye though". I must admit that through my tears of laughter, I saw there were 2 young professional women on the tour that were a little red in the face and snickering as well.

Those were great times. Ivor Biggun and the Red Nose Burglars were regular artist's on CFNY much to our delight and it wasn't long before we all knew the words to the songs.

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Dec 2002 - David (a pom in Australia):

Funnily enough, in 1978 I went to the HMV Store on Oxford Street, London to look for a rare 7" single called "Over The Wall We Go" by Ivor Bird. The guy in shop looked in the catalogues and could find no reference to Ivor Bird but told there was an Ivor Biggun! I thought he was joking, but that is the first time I heard of Ivor Biggun even though I had absolutely no idea who he was or ever having heard his songs.

By sheer coincidence, in May 1980 (or 1981) I was working in South Africa and a friend from UK sent me the Winkers Album as a birthday gift!

I first heard some of your tracks in my early teens. My dad and elder brothers used to be in stitches listening to your songs. The one line that always stayed in my mind was "the sea was as cold as a polar bears dick". This still brings a smile to my face. Earlier today I was chatting with an online friend who was a bit down. I asked if he remembered "the winkers song", he hadn't heard of it so I said who it was by and we spent ages laughing whilst reading the lyrics, on this web page.

You have brought back many happy memories for me today, as sadly my dad and one of my brothers is no longer alive. Also my friend was much happier after being introduced to your song.

At 7 am the radio alarm went off with... "has anybody seen my cock..." - my wife screamed as I stood up and said good morning! That was many years ago in Toronto, Canada, and we have never forgotten Ivor.

I first heard about Ivor Biggun in about 1978,ish from the "I'm a winker(misprint)" single that my brother had. On a trip to London in the early 80's I went into the Virgin Megastore and bought the album. My 12 year old nephew is into Ivor as well and is developing a healthy lavatory sense of humour from downloads on the internet.

Great website. Thanks for putting it up.

I heard 'Bras on 45' two times in the early 1980s on the Dr Demento radio show and have had the song stuck in my head for the better part of 20 years. I happened across your website this year and was thrilled to see all the info on Ivor as well as links to download 'Bras'. I ended up buying the 'Fruity Bits...' CD online as a birthday present for my dad.

... Now and again we would travel round local pubs/clubs with our pool team to Red Row Brick Club, Newcastle Brown Ale 15 pence a bottle, a £10 jackpot fruit machine and the Winkers song playing almost constantly on the juke box (and lockins!!!) and what every teenage piss artist needs after all that on the way home: yes you've guessed it a Chinese take away!!! "Flied lice and stirfried cats nuts please" or "yellowed nipple omelet please" or "a 69 to eat in please" and many more happy mam: sorry memories.

After a lot of trying I managed to get the Winkers Album - Brilliant, songs to sing on the way back from the pubs/clubs. I wore it out, (and the record) got a replacement, moved (not my bowels this time!!!) and lost it. Now thanks to the wonders of the internet I was able to buy it again for a third time (sounds a bit like a girl I know!!!) and followed that up with the Fruity Bits thingy. All the old friends from 25 years ago on a reunion then back to my sty, sorry home had a brilliant time with the old winkers album + some brilliant new songs, especially the cockeral song and half way up Virginia.

Ivor you're a star!!! Don't ever think of getting a proper job, you have many fans from years ago + loads of local kids have lent the CD so how about some concert dates in Northumberland soon???

Although I have played with Doc on a few occasions, I never played with him on a frequent or regular basis. I did a couple of gigs in a Fulham pub where Ivor's Jivers had a residency and also a private gig at the Natural History Museum when Doc & I were both guests with The Guvnors. Bob Hokum, leader of the Guvnors, also had us both as guests with him at Aint Nothin But on Kingly Street a few years ago.

I learned how to swear/cuss because of the winkers song, much to my parents disgust. Years later I moved to the U.S from the U.K and married an American. Several years into the marriage we purchased a black labrador. She in turn produced a fine litter of healthy puppies. We were down to the last black male of the litter and I returned home one evening to question if we had received any calls regarding that particular puppy. "No" my husband replied.

At this point I must point out that I was adamant that we were not going to keep this darling little puppy. However, seeing as I'm such a suspicious person, and not really believing my husband, the following morning I called back all the unknown numbers on the caller ID. And much to my surprise discovered that he had told two people that the last black male puppy had been sold! Boy! Oh boy! Did he hear about it later that evening when I confronted him. Needless to say the conversation got a little "heated" to say the least, I called him a "f***ing w*nker"!!!! At this point, the cutest 6 week old black male labrador just went balistic, barking, jumping up and down, at which point my husband and I looked at each other and just melted. It was obvious that this cute puppy was staying and was destined to be named "W*nker".

"W*nker" was to say the least, the most loyal and loving dog ever. He was always willing to please and never turned you down, he always made you feel good too! And god did he love his name. We often received strange looks when we called him - but he always came! My mother could never bring herslf to call his name. Instead she always referred to him as "w dog". Sadly "W*nker" passed away last night. I found him curled up, and quite stiff. He passed without too much pain. He was truly a magnificent dog, and will be sadly missed.

It just goes to show that there is nothing like a wank to make you feel good!!!

Great site, it's so reassuring to find fellow winkers pulling it off on the net.

The first spurt of Biggun I heard was The Winkers Song, in the late 70's, and I have been able to stand proud ever since as a lifelong fan, tossing his name into conversations all over the coun...try. After several delays, and one late withdrawl, I managed to enter one of his gigs, a MAG Rally in South Essex about 10 years ago. As you can imagine, with such a long wait for satisfaction, it was almost over too soon, but as Ivor stood erect on stage, grasping his instrument, I knew things couldn't get any harder. Then he started to, er, "sing".

During the, rather sweaty, performance which he pulled off with practiced ease, strumming his ukelele sore, he asked if there were any winkers(sic) in the audience. Few people owned up to this in such a public place. He then asked if anybody was standing next to a winker(sic), at which point hundreds of sweaty, moist palms were thrust upwards at great speed. "Funny how there's always more of those", he slobbered. At this point, I went bright purple and started to weep, such was the enjoyment of the occasion, and even though it was all over in two minutes, it left an indelible stain on my character in a somewhat more than embarrasing place.

Long may he continue to, er, perform!

I first heard the strummings of this great artiste about 15 years ago when I borrowed a tape from a friend who succeeded in corrupting me in one foul stroke. Once converted my life has not been the same since now I find toilet humour ridiculously hilarious and find it hard to follow a professional career without offending colleagues with a lesser understanding of the finer intricacies of the genre. I have succeeded in spreading the 'shite' and have converted a number of close friends (you have to know someone for about 3 years before you can risk getting the Ivor tape out without them running a mile) and can regularly be seen around London with friends singing our favorite hymns whilst pissed - we nearly cleared a curry house in Brick Lane a couple of weeks ago with a raucous chorus of 'I've Farted'...enough said!!

Will continue to keep an eye on the web site... will there be any gigs to look forward to in the future? - me and my pals desperately need a 'second coming'!!!!

[Back to main Ivor Biggun page]

Dec 2001 - Alan (Toronto, Canada):

The first time I heard anything from Ivor was when I heard him on the DR. DEMENTO show, when he was still on radio in this city. Truly he is missed from this city's airwaves. Anyway myself and my girlfriend were fooling around on the sofa, when I first heard "Bra's on 45". Don't ask me why we were listening to Dr. Demento at this most inappropriate time, it just happened to be on. But later on I thought she liked The Spike Jones sound where I just liked the BIG BANGS... ahem... and later on while she was getting miffed (misprint) with myself, it took all of my concentration not to come (misprint) out and sing this song.

I went out and managed to only get this vinyl album [More Filth Dirt Cheap] and have enjoyed it these many years...

I heard my first Ivor Biggun tape in Brunei (Island of Borneo) in 1980. A colleague had picked up the tape while home on leave in the U.K. and I have been an admirer ever since. We made a copy of the tape and it has proved useful as my children have progressed into the realms of more adult lavatorial humour. My youngest is at the moment particularly fond of the farting song.

I went out looking for Judge Dread songs on Kazaa, found 'i've got a monster' by some bloke with a dirty name. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! Your site was the dog's proverbials. Who says music is segregated to age? I'm 16!!! I think it's hilarious... and get this... I'm female too! There u go -a minority biggun admirer lol :) I like Judge Dread and read Viz, so this is my next step lol. Keep up the good work mate!

I'm actually making a site dedicated to the Judge at: http://www27.brinkster.com/skarmony

I'm sitting here with a blue 7 incher in my hand!
No not that, but I have just managed to track down a copy of Ivor's first stained offering at an on-site auction and secured it for the not too unreasonable sum of £2.

It takes me back to college days in the mid 80's where a friend and I rigged up a speaker and amplifier combo to blast out The Winkers Song full blast during lectures. We were only ejaculated twice as I recall!

When I was about 16 but looked 12, about 1978 or so, our local pub (The George & Dragon in Shirley, West Midlands) had a disco on Sunday nights in the back room. It was so dark in there it was the only place I could get served without being slung out. One fateful night "Big John" requested that "The W*nker's Song" be played for "Doppo" (names changed to protect the guilty). When the DJ played it and announced who it was for Doppo naturally went ballistic and chased John all round the pub threatening to kill him. The seed was sown. I bought the single. My brother was earning more than me and he bought the album. Being naturally tight-fisted (oooer) we've both still got our respective purchases. In those days copyright was something that other people worried about, so I taped Big Bro's album (backed with Jilted John's True Love Stories, remember that?) and many happy hours were spend bellowing out the lyrics to all the songs at home and in cars. I actually memorised the words to "The Charabanc Trip" and would recite it at social functions, omitting certain verses or changing some lyrics if I thought my audience wouldn't appreciate Ivor in all his glory.

Time passed, the George & Dragon was knocked down, most of my aquaintances got fed up with hearing "The Charabanc Trip" over and over again, and the tape got lost, but my mates and I would still occasionally belt out a verse or two of "I've Parted" when drunk and windy. I've heard some of the later stuff and very good most of it is too, but there's nothing to touch the original. Internet shopping is a wonderful thing. I've now got my own CD copy of Jilted John, and I'd dearly love a CD of "The Winker's Album" if one ever becomes available. I've borrowed my brother's vinyl album and don't ever intend to return it, but it does have a few annoying jumps on it - a legacy of the almost constant playing with it had in the 70s and 80s (oooer again!). So come on Ivor, get your finger out and get someone to knock out a few CDs for us hardened Biggun fans!
ps: How come "Reader's Wives" never made it onto the album? A beautiful poignant melody that never fails to stir me!

Just come across your web site and well chuffed !! Although now a respectable 30 something professional I have some very fond memories of Ivor's gigs and still spin the CDs to this day

I forget when it was - but it was ages ago - at the now gone Bun Shop in Surbiton. It was packed and a mate I was with had broken his ankle the previous week at a WASP gig. So we where there all well pissed up with a brilliant atmosphere and Flo was standing on his seat waving both his crutches around shouting "W*NKER" at the top of his voice - What a great night!

The best memory of another gig was at the Gun Tavern Croydon - if I remember it was a really sh*tty bar but yet another electric atmosphere.

Myself and my mates first heard Ivor when we where young on our way to a camping trip and one of the adult leaders played us "I'm a W*nker" - been a fan ever since (probably about 17 years ago now) - I'm now 31

As strange as it seems I have always rated Ivor highly as a musician and some of the non comedy Ivors Jivers gigs where brilliant - although comedy clearly came across all the time. If you compare Ivor to some one like Kevin Bloody Wilson - that is just musical jokes, whereas most of Ivors songs stand up well as songs (I've got a Monster is a great boggie tune) and with the brilliant jokes on top you've got a great combination.

I seem to remember having an Ivors Jivers live tape years ago (vaguely recall it being yellow and having "White Cliffs of Dover" on it) - lost it now but would love to get my hands on a copy.

Real shame that no more gigs in the offering - I always found the chance to stand on a chair in a pub and drunkenly should "W*NKER" at the top of my voice a very liberating and amusing pastime - as well as a great excuse to drink and party and dance around playing air guitar !!!

A good story about "I'm a W*nker" - myself and some mates used to belong to the Venture Scouts and we attended and event called Aquameet - when on the Saturday night there is a big drunken party and disco - probably about 250 people all pissed having a great time. We thought it would be a huge hoot to get the DJ to play "I'm a W*nker" and dedicate it to the Venture Scout leader at the time. Needless to say he was well pissed off at the sight of 250 pissed people singing "I'm a W*nker" at the top of their voices. Aaaaahhhhhhhh happy days !!!!

I first heard a bigun track in the late seventies when I was a student at Portsmouth Poly and recently acquired The Fruity Bits which I greatly enjoy. Part of the appeal for me is the continuation of the great tradition of the comic song, and as a fellow ukulele strummer I am keen to find out if any of the songs are available in sheet music form preferably with the uke chord symbols on (apologies if you are not a strummer but most music for ukelele is made as simple to play as possible and the chord symbols mean that you can play along with virtually no musical knowledge).

Long may Ivor carry on the traditions of my other great hero George Formby although the George Formby society may well take exception to me making such a comparison.

I first encountered Ivor on a very warped (how apt) and old tape my cousin had of More Filth Dirt Cheap when I was 15. I copied that shameful tape straight away despite it barely being audible, because I hadn't had such a laugh in ages. I then searched high and low for the genuine article - for years, I think. This search was rather hindered by the fact that my cousin had no idea who the artist was - I just had to go by the lyrics. I embarrassed myself hugely at a number of record shops either singing the different songs, or quoting lyrics in an attempt to get some Biggun relief (ahem). Eventually an exasperated record shop attendant handed me the album order book and I leafed my way through the pages and found what I was looking for.

It was 3 months before my first album arrived - I'd ordered More Filth Dirt Cheap - and I had visited the store to check on progress at least 7 times. My next album was a lucky find in the comedy section of a backstreet record shop in Manchester - Partner's in Grime (this was the best thing that had happened to me whilst hanging around in dark alleys). This was one of my biggest thrills! It hadn't been out for long, so this must have been the equivalent of a teen fan managing to get her hands on the first copy of a newly released Westlife single! (I am very much joking on that score!) I listened closely to it with a good friend of mine that evening and we both laughed until we were wet - our cheeks were wet with tears, I mean.

When I was older and a little richer I got a computer with Internet access which gave me endless Ivor opportunities. I saw this site in its infancy and my joy was only tinged with a slight jealousy that I hadn't erected my own Ivor site first. I am very grateful to you for giving me the means to find and buy the last album in my collection - The Winker's Album.

I am still a great Ivor fan, despite the fact that my partner can't stand him, so I have to listen to my albums when he is out, or on headphones. I hope to be able to corrupt our daughter behind his back when she gets older (Hee-hee). I have recently acquired a ukulele, so any chance of "..the words and ukulele chords for an Ivor Biggun Song." (My Brother's Magazine)???

My main great and unsatisfied wish is to be able to see Ivor live. I would even write to Jim'll Fix It if he were still going!!

How many years have I suffered without Ivor. I first encountered Ivor, unknowingly when I heard the "CLEAN VERSION" of the Majorca song on That's Life, I must have been about 15 years old, I thought it was hilarious. Little did I know back then.

In 1991 I went skiing with college in Meribel, by coach, a friend had all The Ivor Biggun albums copied to tape and we had the whole lot played again and again over the speakers, imagine my surprise when I heard The Majorca song in all it's glory!!! As soon as I got back to England I went on a hunt to locate all Ivor's albums, eventually I found them in Tower Records in Picadilly, well two of them anyway, "Partners in Grime" and "The Winkers Album". These two LP's became the pride of my record collection, until they were lent to a friend who has since lost them, many years ago. No Ivor for 8 years!!

How chuffed was I when I discovered this site, and even moreso when I discovered that there was a new album available. I have recently obtained this and WOW! How many fond memories of nights sat in bar's in a French Skiing resort singing at the tops of our voices, "I'm a W*nker", "W*nking your blues away" etc, drunk obviously!

Ivor, glad to know that you are still with us, congratulations on your recent marriage, and please, please, please, keep recording!!!

This site has made my day... thought the great man had gone from my life for ever... my vinyl copy of More Filth! etc was lost long ago but now I have ordered a new copy and the Fruity bits CD... have also mailed the site to a few mates... some who are already believers and a few IB virgins in the hope they will be converted.

Top site... really gave me a giggle and brought back a lot of memories.

First caught Ivor when I was a student at Ealing College (that well known seat of academic excellence) in about 84... I think a mate had an album and we wore the bloody thing out playing it. It was the classic album to play when you've been out drinking and chasing women - and caught none - and got in late at night. In the course of a term we became almost word perfect and it was a top time. Regretably the mates I lived with have all lost touch but any IB song conjours up great laughs. It was such a bloke thing... no woman would ever understand it... which is as it should be.

Getting impatient for my cd's to arrive just writting this... they had better have arrived when I get home as I want to play them to my wife and watch her slightly concerned frown as she realises that her 36 year old husband actually paid good money for them !!!

I'm sitting here on your website killing myself laughing over this little trip down memory lane...

For what it's worth, I first heard Ivor when I was 10, living in Brazil (1978). Our British neighbours had the album, and cheerfully loaned it to my older brother. When you're 10, "I've Parted (Misprint)" is the funniest thing you've ever heard. Of course, the album expanded my vocabulary considerably, as up to that point I hadn't yet encountered w*nking or piles - or ukeleles, for that matter.

My extremely wise parents chose to turn a deaf ear to the entire matter. Mind you, I doubt they anticipated that three of their four children would still be able to rattle off entire songs from memory twenty-three years later - nor that we would be merrily teaching them to the fourth child, his wife, and their three children... But poor Mom still giggles herself out of all credibility whenever we run through "My Brother's Got Piles", so she can't complain.

After a recent singalong with my sister (in the car between Toronto and Montreal), we decided we really had to try to find ourselves a copy of Ivor's first album--mostly for a refresher course in "Hello My Baby" and "Sing a Mucky Song". You can imagine my delight when a websearch turned up this site. I do have a question, though: the copy we had of the album to which you refer as "The Winker's Album" was titled "Ivor Biggun's 12-Incher"; what precipitated the title change?

March 2001 - Derek (Kirkby in Ashfield, Notts, UK):

I first heard "ivor" when he released his "winker"(mis print) in the 70s and went on to obtain two LPs of his, "more filth dirt cheap" was one of them (the title of the other escapes me). They contained a brilliant mixture of soft verbal entertainment and some very clever ditty's like "the underground song" and the monologues "the charabanc trip" and "the other educated monkey". I found the whole ensemble very entertaining and would give my all to repossess the same two records which I lent out to a so called friend and never saw them again.

I still get entertainment indirectly from them, my youngest son at the age of 11 then learned the words of all of the songs and has the uncanny knack of sounding like Doc when he performs, my son is now 27 and still remembers the words.

Ahhh, the first Ivor Biggun song was in March of 1988 when I was 12. My father picked me and my friend up from the Cinema (after Batman) and had decided it was time that the truth be known about the world (and that I could finally swear in front of him). Are mice electric was the song playing when I opened the car door, and truly, it was the opening to a whole new world for me.

Many years back I was in Slough, and Ivor Biggun's Partners In Grime screamed out at me from the top shelf in Our Price. I had to have it. The one handed strummer called to me.

It was with great disappointment to me that Ivor got shot at the end of the tape, as I thought I would never again hear such classics as Graffiti Night Fever - but wait! News of a new album! Please release it now! Now I tell you, now!

Because I'm in America, I first encountered Mr. Biggun on the "Dr. Demento Show" via the song "Bras On 45". Needless to say I was highly impressed and the memory of that experience has stuck with me to this day.

[Back to main Ivor Biggun page]

Dec 2000 - Shane (North Cheam):

I was repairing a fruit machine, as this was my employ at the time, at the Crown in Morden a few years ago when I heard the un-mistakable strains of Hide the Sausage, loud & live eminating from the "stage". I had already attained a copy of the original 12" Winkers Album & I believe I was one of the few owners of "Bras on 45" 12 inch, + the EP with Hide the Sausage which is languishing somewhere in my attic at this very time. My ears pricked up, my fingers twitched, could this be the wankmeister himself? I erected my gaze... and there he was... the prince of stiffness himself... Ivor! I had to meet him, although many are reluctant to shake his hand, I fumbled it with great reverence, the worlds champion wanking device, there, in my hand... I was humbled.

I met Jilly B. & the rest of the Vulgar Band, not to mention Nigel's helmet, and was to enjoy, and also to introduce several friends, to the joys of Ivor's inane masturbatory, and to be quite honest, disgusting evenings of debauchery with a great crowd of characters at the Gun in Croydon, who I may say, I am sure I would never have come into contact with had it not been for him. Such as a much older than normal schoolgirl by the name of Freda who enlightened the evenings + a bunch of leather clad types, including one young lady of "a certain cleavage" who used to sweep the floor during the shows...

If you have any sway with the one fisted manipulator, please, please try to arrange some more shows at the Gun, my dear wife used to accompany me whenever she could, but on the occasion of the last one I attended, she was "laid up" at home & Ivor sang "Hide the Sausage", her favourite, (filthy girl) dedicated to her while I held my mobile phone so she could bounce away on her own in bed (whats new), and I have a large... crowd of aquaintainces who would dearly love to experience what I have experienced, rapid manual manipulation to a great tunesmith, wordsmith and wanksmith, all rolled into one...LONG LIVE IVOR!

I lost my virginity to an Ivor Biggun record in a branch of 'Our Price Records' in the early eighties when I came across "More Filth". Fortunately it was in a wipe-clean cover. I remember trying to decide whether to buy that or 'The Concise King Crimson'. I decided to toss for it... When I regained my vision, in the gutter outside the shop, I noticed that they had chucked "More Filth-Dirt Cheap" out with me. It came home with me that very day and thus my life has been transformed.

I eagerly followed Doc Cox's career on TV in the vain hope that he would do something slightly more outrageous than dressing as a woman in a supermarket. Put me on your mailing list for live dates please, as I would love to witness this living legend brandishing his reputation in front of him.

My estranged father introduced me to Ivor Biggun in the late seventies. When he visited I would sit with him in his car as we giggled madly to the cassette. But I was mostly bemused; at ten I enjoyed the rude simplicity of The Farting Song and The Man Who Scrawls Balls on the Walls.

Listening to Ivor’s first two albums soon became a marvellous dare. The process of uncovering new layers of outright filth and foul innuendoes never seemed to cease. And when I discovered wanking, well!

What I later learned was that Ivor’s songs were actually excellently crafted, both lyrically and musically. His ability to create serene vulgarity has been underestimated. And he sings for all the spotty letches, greasy loners, geeky misfits and perpetual children fascinated by bowel movements and private parts. He sings for me.

My only regret is that I never got steamed at one of his gigs. I still admire the immediacy of The Cucumber Number, My Brother’s Got Piles and Long John Alcock. I now listen to his same songs with my children and they delight as I still do. Oh, what a wretched abuser I am.

Excellent site, the w*nkers song when it was 1st releasd was my 1st memory of Ivor. I've seen them at the Gun (Croydon) 6 times. On one occasion I bought one of their T-shirts and all the band signed and wrote funny slogans on it!

What a brilliant web-site! I always had a copy of BOPA1 and 2 until some slimy handed sod stole them at a party many moons ago (About 22 years ago I think). If I remember correctly they were released on the Dead Badger label. Well it's just great to see something from the limp wristed one again after all these years and I have dutifully ordered a copy of the 'new' album from Amazon. Again, great web site, and good to see some of the five fingered shufflers work once more.

Just discovered your IB site - marvellous.

I first heard a Biggun song (W*nkers) at the Three Pigeons in Ealing High Street, played live by Doc, Tony Barker and Ted McDouall with forgotten bass & drums (Scottish Ian and Charlie Morgan ?), probably in early 1980. Little did I know I'd be joining the band in Sept '81, to life-changing effect...

Ivor Jivers (under various names for the first year or so) ran from about '79 until perhaps '95 (it ran out of steam rather than broke up) and had a residency at the Swan in Fulham for most of the period '81 ? to '92 ? (which is where 'Live at Last' was recorded as the soundtrack to a video) as well as the residency at the Cornet in Clapham. During the period I was with the band we also played at the John Bull in Chiswick, the Southampton in Surbiton, the Grey Horse in Kingston, the Bell in Ealing, the Red Lion in Brentford, the Carnarvon, the Dublin Castle, the Half Moon Putney, Dover Street Wine Bar, lots of other pubs, colleges, schools, biker's rallies, New Years Eve do's in posh hotels, etc. , so only mentioning the Cornet in 94/5 is being a bit unfair to the Jivers. Ivor (Doc) and his Jivers had been going for fifteen years by '94 and must have played a good five hundred gigs, featuring on average at least one Biggun song at each (and sometimes several).

The line-up you give for IJ is the '80s 'First Team' rather than the band which usually played the Cornet, which as often as not featured Pete Stroud on drums (ex-Sassafras, then Bjorn Again) rather than 'Charismatic' Chris Perry, and someone other than 'Enigmatic' Eddie Masters on bass (Mike Summerbee ? No, he was a footballer...). Actually, IJ used loads of deps over the years - probably 60-70 musicians, especially bass and drums, some of whom (Andy H & Terry P on bass, & Nigel A on drums) went on to be in the Vulgar Band or the Big Boogie Spoonful, and others (Johnny G, Steve Simpson, Dick Heckstall-Smith, Chris Stainton, Noel Brown, Wolfie Witcher) who were known from other endeavours. I wasn't involved with the Vulgar Band but I doubt if it played the Swan more than a couple of times and it didn't start up until IJ was already running down in the early '90s.

The last couple of times I've played with Doc were Nov 99 when we did a gig with Wee Willie Harris and the guy from Lieutenant Pigeon in Tilehurst near Reading, and April this year when we did a duo in the Plough in Ealing W13, so he's still talking to me....I'm glad to say !

I have always been interested in the sort of records that you don't find in the normal stock at your record shop so in about 1987 I managed to get a list of all the records available in Australia at the time. I was very interested in a record called 'More Filth, Dirt Cheap' by Ivor Biggun and the Red-Nosed Burglars (attracted only by the name, I had never heard of them at the time). At a suggested price of $8.99 I thought it was worth a punt. I ordered the LP (which cost over $20 when it arrived) and loved it so much I then ordered the (then new) 'Partners In Grime'.

Not too many of my friends were clever enough to enjoy the jokes until I went to Rotorua in New Zealand in 1994 for 'Interhash', (a bi-ennial gathering of members of the Hash House Harriers, a racist, sexist, bigoted, alcoholic, non-athletic running club). A book of 'Hash Songs' was published and I was pleased to see several of Ivor's songs printed there.

Now via the wonders of modern technology, I find Ivor again on this superlative website.

You complete winker. I'm writing this from Chicago where I had to flee after your f#Ck@#g song got me into a world of s%^T.

My grandfather had invited me to the opening of his new golf club, he had just been elected Big swinging pole or whatever is the name for the guy that runs the show, we were at the opening dinner and dance. Very much a black suit and tie deal with many freemasons present. Hidden at the back of the room was a jukebox that was to be put into one of the bars. Strangely enough I happened to have some change on me and decided to try it out, I had turned down what I thought was the volume control (actually a decorative knob, an apt description for me as you will see), having selected the only track that wasn't made by dead people I stood back and..... need I continue.

Interestingly enough the sound system in the dance area was particularly good that night as my friend had put it in. The lyrics of your song certainly were the topic of a free and frank exchange of views in the carpark. It seemed that ol' gramp had very fixed views as to an acceptable tune for the waltz, and your winker song was not it. In short I decided to leave Britain and become a "huddled mass yearning to be free" and got my ass to Chicago. If at any time you pop over the pond, let me know I'd really like to repay you for all the help you gave me.

Back in the early 80's on CFNY's morning show... Pete AND Geets used to play the song "I'm a W*nker"... so when my mother in law was in England she brought back his album... loved him ever since.

CFNY was in Brampton, just north of Toronto. It started as a rebel (alternative) type station. It has maintained it's image throughout the years as a home for alternative music. It always seemed they would stir the pot every so often and play some off beat stuff ie Ivor, or Psycho Chicken by The Fools, Dennis Leary's Asshole, etc... The station just moved to a more open concept theme and are now located in downtown Toronto. You can listen to them on the web at www.edge102.com. You will love Humble Howard and his sidekick Fred (Paterson).

A rather funny incident happened while listening to one of Mr Bigguns albums. It was many years ago while I was at school. A friend of mine and me left school early and popped down to home, and I played Ivor's first album to him which he loved. I lived with my grandparents and while listening to the w*nker's song for about the 5th time my grandmother walked in the room and innocently said to me "Scott, what's a w*nker?" now she was 81 at the time, well my friend collapsed in a heap of laughter and tears but I managed to keep some sort of straight face and calmly as I could replied "I have no idea gran" (ohh lie through me teeth or what). When she had left the room I collapsed in tears of laughter. I never did explain what one was, this has to be one of the fondest memories of my late grandmother (thanks to Uncle Ivor)

Great site by the way. This man deserved more popularity than he received.

I first heard Ivor with the now (in)famous W*nker song many years ago; I now live and work in Belgium but the summer before last did a quick job in London; one saturday I went to the outdoor market on Edgeware Road, down the side is a second hand record shop so I had a slow browse through the boxes of LPs outside. Imagine my delight when I found the Winkers(misprint) album, only a quid!!!! Needless to say there and then one quid I spent it. It was in reasonable condition apart from two scratches, one in the underground song and one at the end of great grandad John, I copied it onto tape and regularly play it on long journeys. The album for various reasons now resides with my ex mother in law. I wonder if she plays it?

I forget what year it was, but it was back in the days of home computer stores, before the high-streets jumped on the bandwagon... circa just about C64 time, I think.

I used to skip college as the courses were too easy/boring so I would work in a computer centre selling games and stuff to people. One of the managers during the period I skived was a crack-up... would get steamed at lunch-time and start playing Ivor Biggun in the afternoon. It sure raised a few eyebrows when people heard The W-nker Song or My Brothers got Piles coming from the back of the store. :-)

Great to see an IVOR BIGGUN site. I went to see him a lot in the 1980s, and last saw him live about ten years ago. When I last saw him at a room-over-the-pub gig I suggested to him he call his next album 'CD Songs' (geddit?) and he thought tit a great idea. But his pubic is still waiting!

Where did I last see Ivor Biggun? The Swan, Fulham Broadway. It was in his Ivor's Jivers guise, and a better pub r&b band there never was. But don't ask chapter and verse -- heaven knows I don't remember the details. I only know I thought every show was brilliant, entertainment distilled, and ever since, I've not been able to appreciate r&b or rock music live without a glass in my hand and a smile on my face.

I was at Fulham Broadway last weekend, the first time for about 3 years, and noticed The Swan has turned into something called Bootsy Brogan's. God save us from bloody theme pubs. I haven't been inside, but noble prejudice tells me I don't need to go inside to have a valid opinion about it...

I was introduced to Dr Demento's US radio shows about 1979, and still have a couple of dozen on tape, dating back to about 1985. I was a voter for the Dr Demento Funny Five in the early days, and did my bit on getting Bra Size 45 into said high-five chart. Telling Biggun this at one of his gigs, he said that he'd been invited out to dine with Barret Hansen, aka Dr Demento, after getting played on the show. He said Hansen made a mean chili, and also had an amazing record collection, hundreds of thousands strong. He also thanked me, with all the courtesy of the true star, for voting for him.

The new compilation can only contain a third of his best songs; in three albums he recorded hardly any duff tracks. But what we want is really new stuff, especially the parodies of other musical styles. My girlfriend of a dozen years ago was an old friend of a producer from North Carolina who'd worked with REM and Suzanne Vega amongst others. I played him 'Halfway up Virginia' not long after it first came out in 1987, and he was astonished to learn that IB wasn't a fellow Southerner, so precisely was the parody pitched.

I have a copy of "Woof Woof! Bang Bang!" tucked away somewhere.

[Back to main Ivor Biggun page]

Nov 99 - Anthony (North Carolina):

I vaguely remember hearing one of his songs on the radio in England, when I was about 13. My interest was set. I tracked down "The Winkers Album" at a local record store, and drove mum nuts playing it constantly. Alas the record was lost when I moved to the United States.

Years passed, and I planned a trip home, first calling a record store in London, yes, they had what I wanted!!! I asked them to put them aside, and that I would pick them up in 6 weeks, because I was coming over from the United States. I went home to Yorkshire, and travelled around the country with my family, when it was time to return to the States we headed for London, I had deliberately given us a couple of days in London, specifically so I could complete my quest, I NEEDED IVOR!! I jumped on the tube, headed for the record store, and asked if they had the records put aside, the clerk searched and said no. I was distraught, the manager walked in at that time and the clerk explained the situation. The manager looked at me "That was you?" he asked, "I thought it was a joke". He went off to look for the records, and found both "Winkers" and "More Filth". My day was looking better. :-)

I brought both records home, and played them for friends, constantly. I received many requests for copies. "More Filth" was stolen during a rather large and rowdy party at my appartment, but I still have "Winkers". I probably have the most well travelled Ivor record in existence, he's seen England, California, New York, Rhode Island, Alaska, Japan, Phillipines and has finally come to rest in North Carolina.

Since the Internet is now so "amazing", I thought I'd do a search for "Ivor Biggun", and came up with your page. Great stuff, and it shows the power of the "www". (Jesus. I hate computers !!!)

I must have heard Ivor's 1st LP soon after its release in ? '77 / '78. I lived in Reading, Berks, at the time (N.D. from Canada mentioned the '77 Rock Festival) and one of my lodgers came home one night clutching this album he'd borrowed from another strange friend, and said "You've just GOT to hear this !!". I immediately learned the words to several of the songs, "The Winker's song", "A Winker's Paradise", and "My brother's got Piles" being among them.

It wasn't 'till many years later I decided "The Charabanc Trip" would be a real challenge to learn, and a good "Party Piece". Hell, if I could learn 29 verses of "Grey's Elegy in a Country Churchyard" at school (can you IMAGINE ???!! ), I figured the Charabanc's 30 verses should be a snap! It wasn't. It took me years !!

What prompted me to search for "Ivor Biggun", just tonight, is that I'm in the final rehearsal stages of my 2nd public rendition of "The Charabanc Trip" for the Phuket Hash House Harriers, right here in Phuket, Thailand, where I've been living these last 7 years. The Phuket HHH, like all "Hashes", a most venerable institution, is having its 700th run in 2 days. I'm down to one full rehearsal a day (usually while driving), and if I get enough beer down me beforehand, it should go through faultlessly.

The 'Charabanc' performance went very well (I think, faultlessly), and was enjoyed by the 100-strong crowd of deadbeats (including one luscious chick down from Pattaya, that well-known slop-hole of Thailand (which I'm actually rather fond of !!)

We couldn't manage a piano-forte, but did get hold of a (?tenor) drum and incredibly f--ked-up drummer. I even had a large map of Blighty to show the folks where the whole thing had taken place.

An exellent site, not to mention resource, for us long committed Biggunophiles, and I speak has someone who is a proud owner of the original '78 pressing of the Winker's song, and the 12" Bra's on 45 (a rare animal according to a record collector mate.)

Does anyone remember the incident when, circa 81/82, Jimmy Young famously played "Hello my baby" from the Winkers album on his mid-morning show on BBC R2? (I seem to remember he back-announced it as "thats er..... Ivor and Amelia) Possibly the only time our Ivor has hit mainstream UK radio unless anyone knows otherwise? Keep up the good work.

Aug 99 - Mark revealed:

I heard Dr Demento play a new song by him about a snow man. How did he get that ? (Ivor is just a genius). I first heard him from the w*nker 7" and used to shock and confuse all I could by playing this record for them. I used to play it at my friend's record store and this led to requests not to play stuff so raunchy from the managment of the building. How could anyone think that song is raunchy ?

Here is a picture of some : Red Nosed Burglars
It was probably taken in the early 80's at the Marquee but I'm not sure.  The one in the middle (one with his nose by the word "free" is John the Florist.  I have no idea on the other two).

If you check the back of the "More Filth Dirt Cheap" record and look for the list of Red-Nosed Burglars, John the Florist is listed there... he's actually on a few releases. If you hadn't guessed by now, he's my Dad. His greatest 'achievement' is writing the introduction to "Gums and Plums" - the "Ivor (clap clap clap)" part. [Sing, you bugger, sing! - Ed]
I added the caption because it's his favourite phrase and he wanted it on the web. [Wherever Man or Beast may be, He must let His wind blow free]

Hi there, just been to your Ivor Biggun web site.... nice to know there are fans like myself out there. I am writing this email, as I have had my Winkers CD, and Partners in Grime CD stolen from my car :-( And, I've tried to replace them by hunting all over the net, and unable to find anything :-(

I was going out with a girl from Manchester. We had been at her parents for 2 days when her family had a crazy feud and we left late at night to spend the night at Manchester Piccadilly station. To pass the time we walked around the station area countless times. We found a small record shop with it on prominent display. As I'd only seen the single before, we waited until the shop opened, bought it and then caught the train back to London.

Well I was 13 when The Winkers Song first came out, my friend bought it and I liked it that much I bought it myself in fact I bought two copies and guess what they both got stolen, and now 21 years later I am still in a desperate search for it.

Amazing that I just came upon this site while browsing for some rugby lyrics. Anyway, my first recollection of the "classic" was at the Reading Rock Festival, I believe it was 77? It had the likes of Status Quo, Sham 69 and the Jam etc. playing there. I believe it was John Peel (DJ) at the time who had a guest appearance there and everyone had just finished chanting "John Peel's a Cxxt". He then decided to play the Winkers song over the PA. I remember all 20,000+ (as it was only mid afternoon) go very quiet and then burst into laughter at the chorus. Bloody good stuff! I had to get a hold of a copy a week later. I still have it.

It was a friend who gave me a tape of IBs first album who really got me into the delights of the old monkey spanker. I actually thought his first single was shite! The Charabanc Trip won me over, and I bought the album. We puzzled for years over who IB might really be until a friend rang up excitedly... he'd been twigged, and some time later I rang the Beeb and spoke to Doc. To cut a long story short, we became friends and various apendages of me appeared on P.I.G. Yes, the Bigguntone studio has visited Dorset at last, and a day of heavy right-handed action has resulted in some uke being added to Ukelele Lady, along with a couple bars of ocarina by our daughters.

The first one I ever heard was my friends dad playing The W*nker's Song - which he would always put on when he was drunk - fantastic stuff! Me and my mates still regularly play Ivor's tunes and we are especially enamoured with "The Cockerel Song", "I Can Be The Hot Dog..." and "W*nking Your Blues Away". Musical and lyrical masterpieces, every one of them.

The best time we had listening to Ivor recently was when I played "The Cockerel Song" at a nightclub I DJ at - we had the entire audience bellowing "Has anybody seen my cock" at the end - even the girls!! Keep up the good work and how about some house/techno remixes so that a whole new generation can discover Mr. Biggun for themselves!

I've just been looking at the IB page on the web, and couldn't find what I've been looking for for years, i.e. the lyrics to Readers Wives (B side of the Winkers Song). Any ideas where I might find ? Can you help ?

Hell, it was years ago now, 1988 or similar. It was at the, now defunct, "The Southampton" pub next to Surbiton station. This was an Ivor's Jivers gig.

I saw them many times and I soon graduated to the, also defunct, "Bun Shop" in Surbiton. Here, the Vulgar Band was unleashed in all its glory. Many other gigs there, at the Grey Horse (Kingston) and a support slot at the Turk's Head (St Margarets) followed.

You can still hear these fine tunes on public transport after we've been to a beer festival or a good night in the pub. We are very good at "The Joys of Fornication".

Amazing! I was thinking about the 'Winker's Song' and 'I've Farted' and wondered where I could find the Lyrics for these classic songs. I entered 'Ivor Biggun' in a Yahoo word search and hey presto! Brilliant! I remember an uncle of mine having these singles and laughing until I cried when I heard them, they still have the same effect all these years later. All I have to do is find the albums, which shouldn't be a problem now thanks to this site! So good I had to add it to my Favourites!! Cheers, you've made my day!

Great page! I was struggling to find any info on the great man, and eventually found yours. I remember Ivor from my student days 1984-87 with an Album a friend had.

I do recall a time on That's Life about 4 years ago, when some cub scouts had been collecting can ring pulls - and some amusing story had developed, anyway they got Doc on to do some song about it. Just as Esther introduced it "and here with the ring pull square dance is Doc Cox and the 'Ring Pickers'" - Doc gave all us Ivor fans a sly wink to emphasise the pun!

Ivor did send me some illustrations and jokes for our Stirling Albion fanzine 'The Beanos' a few years back, I still have them if yer interested.

My first memory of Ivor Biggun was when the guy in the record shop sold me the winkers song, I am a DJ & you can imagine the crowd reaction :) they loved it ! It was about a year before I found out it was Doc Cox of That's Life !!!! SHEER HORROR I was really amused. Best of luck with the site.

Congrats on a great site! Don't know why it's taken me so long to bother searching for a web site featuring Uncle Ivor, but I'm glad I did!

My friend introduced me to Ivor music a couple of weeks ago, I haven't stopped laughing. I am going to have to buy his CDs myself - If I can find a shop that stocks them!

Ivor Biggun has been one of my main role models from my early years in the business. I started writing "al inuendo" at an early age after my mate supplied a bootleg version of J.T Alcock and I've Farted.

My first band in the w*nkers vogue was called "Ripsnorter", combining Inuendo and incompetence with songs like "Back seat of my car", "Lulu McShag" and the christmas classic "Santa Claus where's yer draws" written with my musical partners Fig, Chris, Martin and a wierdo who called himself Ghost Stanzig (it was the 80's !!). I now have a successful partnership with a band called "Doghouse folkalypsomenco duo", the "a la Biggun" style is still there.

I have many many memories of Ivor and his legendary songs. I first (and only ever) heard Ivor on a radio station in Toronto Canada called CFNY-FM 102.1. At the time they were the only radio station playing hard core punk, New Wave, and virtually anything else you could name. A rather infamous pair of morning men, Peete and Geets, played an Ivor Biggun song just about every day. This station was free format, no playlist, taking requests on the spot, no restrictions, no censoring, anything goes.... Among their favourites were of course, The W*nker's Song, The Cockerel Song, and of course, I've Farted (Imagine waking up to that at 7 am). I became a huge fan of Ivor, and his albums became much sought after - and very much unavailable. A friend of mine was able to acquire the first two albums for me and they are among my most prized posessions.

Sadly, CFNY sold out - they are called "The Edge" now..... Abandoning their unique format, for a very specific rigid playlist. They play mostly 'Alternative' now, every once in a while, indulging in a Sex Pistols song, and I long for the good old days... I still listen to Ivor on a regular basis and I can honestly say that each time I listen to an Ivor Biggun song, I hear something different, something I never picked up before. Living in Canada, I don't always understand some of the references, but I have many w*nker friends who are more than happy to explain them to me. I very much look to a new album and will certainly do whatever I can to grab a copy.

P.S. Inspired by a certain song, I drank my first Dandelion and Burdock the other day (And you know what that means...)

I first heard the W*nker's Song played in a TINY bar in my hometown (called "Poor Folks Deli") by a travelling troubadour who sang the last chorus as "You're all w*nkers", to the amusement of patrons. Years later, I heard the original on cassette and learned of the Master.

Your links helped me obtain the original W*nker's Song '45 from Continental Records here in Canada. You may want to let fans know that it's available there. Unfortunately, they no longer stock "Bra's On '45" (also in their catalogue), but the guy who runs the place said he has it in his personal collection. Know of anywhere else I can get it?

Just had to let you know my first exposure to Ivor Biggun was listening to 'The Winkers Album' on a walkman in the library of my sixth form college in 1984, at the tender age of 17. The W*nkers Song was already something of a legend, and something I'd never heard until then. As I recall, 'I've farted' had me laughing audibly and uncontrollably in the library. A heinous crime, indeed, and one which had me given the stern choice of removing myself or my walkman.

You may find a few people writing in whose first exposure was me playing 'The Cockerel Song' very loudly while driving through Richmond in 1987. Sorry 'bout that...

I heard 'The Cockeral Song' daily for a two year period in 1994 & 1995 on CILQ FM 107.1 ('Q107') in Toronto, Canada on their morning show known as 'The Q Morning Zoo'.

Thank you very much for the lyrics to the Fart Song. I actually used it to audition for a Medieval Faire they have here in Michigan. It was a huge hit and I am forever grateful.

I want to tell you about a unforgettable night back in 1980 (stoneage acording to my sons). Anyway I was working nightshift, 0300 every night Swedish national radio used to play the whole LP 'More Filth! Dirt Cheap'.

10-15 years ago they had some program in the night in the Swedish national radio where they always played tunes from the same album for 30 minutes (must have been during the announcers coffee-break) and I happened to put my tapedeck on recording by timer one night and what a suprise I got! That was the first (and last?) time I ever heard Ivor Biggun on the radio. The album that they played was Ivor Biggun "sings" More filth - dirt cheap! which I found out the next day at my record store when I went through a thick catalog trying to find if there was an artist by the name of Biggun. Then I ordered the album!

Love the Ivor Biggun homepage. I've been a fan ever since I first heard the Winker's Album, and yet I've had almost no information about Mr. Biggun himself. I've heard his three full-length albums ... only recently my girlfriend gave me "More Filth...Dirt Cheap" on vinyl. In my opinion, Ivor Biggun is one of the best musical comedians of the 20th Century.

Great page! I've had that Winkers single for years and now I know the whole story. I've been trying to get the Winkers CD for awhile now but can't locate a copy. I have the other two but not that one. Can you help me locate one? I am in the U.S. and it is tough to find UK discs over here.

I saw Ivor Biggun at the Swan Fulham in London in October 1990. He was immensely entertaining and hilarious and I instantly became a huge fan. I was elated a few weeks ago when at work we finally connected to the internet and I punched in Ivor's name and found your site. If you see Ivor, tell him that his fame has spread worldwide.

At last!!! A site for Ivor Biggun lovers! I thought I must be the only fan in Britain -- well, OK I didn't, but I have never met another fan in real life. Thanks ever so much for producing this site. It is long overdue.

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